|April 26, 2013||Posted by V under B, change, cray, fam, health|
Within the past month or longer I have had trouble sleeping. I love sleep and it loves me right back. To say that I’m not happy I can’t sleep through the night is an understatement. Sure I’ll wake up to pee or take B out to pee – and even then I get annoyed – but I’ve never had trouble falling asleep again.
I will wake up several times throughout the night and if my back is to my door, I have to turn over. I can see my front door from my bed, and I have to stare at it before I go back to sleep. Why, I have no idea. It’s like I’m afraid someone will break in. Which is kind of redic – all outside doors lock and you have to have a key to get in the building.
Sometimes Most of the time I am terrified I will see my dad in my place. Creepy, right? It’s true though. I strictly told him I didn’t want to see him. (I’m totally aware I sound like I need to be committed). He was a big jokester, so who knows. I was always the type of person to think ghosts/spirits were not real…until he passed away. Also, one of my BFFs mother’s died in 1997 and she has told me that at times she can feel her mom’s presence in her house. I think you tend to give more cred when you actually know someone that has gone through this, versus hearing about it from a stranger. At least I do.
At 5:30 this morning I woke up from a dream that was all too real. I had a vivid dream of how the world was going to end. Let’s just say that at 5:30am I was seriously contemplating on getting up and starting my day. It freaked me out enough to start looking for a psychologist. I need someone to help me make sense of all this and more importantly – to start sleeping better! Prayers!