Category: dating

Hello From the Outside

Holy fucking shit. I think I wrote about Adele’s “Hello” when it first came out.

July 8th I was checking my VM. My ENT’s office called and left me a VM. Apparently even if you block a number they can still leave you a VM. So I saw “Blocked Messages    1 >”. I have very few numbers blocked; I think only random people I’m too stupid to give a fake number to, and M. Upon seeing the number, I knew it was from M. He called June 18 at 9:17AM. The day before Father’s Day was the first thing that stuck out in my head, not sure why. There was nothing to the VM, just a tv in the background, and then breathing right before hanging up. Obvi it wasn’t a pocket dial, even though he would later claim it was. I don’t think so, bud. Its virtually impossible to do that nowadays.

I brought up returning his call to one of my GFs and she suggested I reach out and see what it was about. Natch, I did because, have you met met? The most curious person, almost, ever. He was shocked to say the least. We “caught up”. What you can catch someone up on in your life when you haven’t talked in over a year. I think he told me he would call me later to catch up.. Somehow I knew he’d call me back after his dinner. He did and we “caught up” more. He told me there were a few things he wanted to tell me. I knew exactly what that meant. I was very blunt the last time we talked/I texted him. I believe before we hung up he said he’d call later in the week. Obvi that didn’t happen.

I actually reconnected with a guy 2 days later. So random. Then the anniversary of my dad’s passing day came. He finally called one Sunday morning either at the end of that week or the following, at 1AMish. I was cleaning out my closet (hello irony) and texting with the boy and an old coworker. I decided to answer. I could tell by his voice something wasn’t quite right. He asked me to pick him up and my first thought was, oh fuck, he’s in jail.” Nope, just at a bar?! He said he needed a friend, and I’m a sucker, so I picked him up, and he knew I would because I’m such a great friend/person.

On the ride to my place (not many places are open at 1:45AM) I was asking WTF was happening, why he needed a friend, etc. And he bombs me with he was engaged and he/she/they called it off on Saturday. Insert my calm face on the outside, and my WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WHY THE FUCK AM I THE PICK ME UP CALL?! Yes those are not complete sentences because my brain was all over the place.

So we talked it out, what little he wanted to talk out. Which consisted of him mostly wanting to hear about me and what was going on in my life.

He did tell me a few things I needed to hear for “closure”. Like how he regretted several things, like never telling me he loved me, not being there for me for my dad’s death, etc. My favorite i think, was that I was the best sex he’d ever had. hahahahaha DUH. Because you actually fell for me. I pointedly asked him why he never told me he loved me. He looked me directly in the eyes and told me he was a coward. Okay, that takes some balls to say that. Or alcohol. Either way, I give him props for finally admitting it.

Like the good friend person I am, I steered the convo back to his issue. To help him, I asked if he thought this was “it”, it was over, for good. He said something about her taking her ring off and leaving it on the table (I think it was table?) was “like a line in the sand”. I asked if he was positive, and if he was sure he wasn’t being too hard on her, because there were plenty of times he did that to me – stubborn asshole because his feelings were hurt without communicating with her and talking things out. God, I’m such a good ex gf! Around 4AM he took his shirt and shorts off and asked if he could sleep over on my couch. Didn’t leave me much choice did ya? I said yes, gave him a pillow and blanket and offered to charge his phone bc I knew it was either dead or almost dead.

At 7:30AM I woke up to his phone vibrating the fuck out of my makeup table. Annoying. So I got up, peed, took him his phone and told him she had called several times. I think he peed and crawled in bed with me. We cuddled (hey, fuck off I’m human) and talked more about his situation. Definitely did not sleep together or make out, and he left.

We caught up later the following week and I told him I couldn’t be his friend. That was one of the things he mentioned in our convo at 3AM. I told him that he couldn’t look to me to be the first one he told about things, that’s what his fiance/wife/person is for. Not me. Whomever he decided to spend his life with needed to be that person, that I couldn’t do it. It wouldn’t be fair to me. He sounded really sad and said he figured and understood. Super awkward hanging up. Hows that convo supposed to go? “Hi, I can’t be your friend or in your life, have a nice life!” Oh and I mentioned that I was really excited with the possibility of where things were going with this new(ish) guy. Side note: that only lasted a month. Leave it to me to get tired of someone after a month. Ha. In the words of Rihanna, “Didn’t they tell you I was a savage?”

After hanging up with M, I felt like he was wavering on getting back together with his ex. Whether or not he did, I have no idea. I just think that based on the little I know, the things he told me and him turning to me, means he’s not as “in it” as he thought he was. I also told him I found it puzzling that he would want closure with me after proposing to someone. #justsayin

So tonight I had a phone call with the medium I have seen before. Not for any particular reason. She actually brought M up though. She said I finally let go of that situation. It was not good for me. She said specific things, but I can’t remember them now. I’d have to go back and listen to the recording.

We talked about my dad, because we always do at some point. She said, you like butterflies don’t you? I laughed and was like yes. She said he sends me signs and sent me one in butterfly form recently. I laughed because he did. She said butterflies normally aren’t that clumsy, it was a sign. (I was at a friends pool sitting on the edge with her. A butterfly literally flew into my face. I pulled away like, wtf and asked her if she saw it. She said yea, its a sign from your dad. I was like I KNOW!) I told the medium I feel like my dad sends me signs a lot, mostly through songs. She said he did.

After our call, I went to the store, ate dinner, watched tv and gathered the materials I need to write an essay for a paper. I decided to put on some music and decided I wanted to hear Adele. I played most of the songs from her 21 album and sang along. 25 started playing after that and Hello came on. I just listened to it instead of singing along for some reason. The further into the song I had a lightbulb moment. I literally said out loud, HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS SOOOOOO US. Me and M. I originally thought that when I heard the song the firs time, but especially after hearing it after he and I talked in person. So crazy, this life.

You go listen to the song, reread what I said about our convo and tell me that shit doesn’t give you chills. #craycray

Husky Men

The 10 Sexiest Things About Husky Guys

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1. You never want to stop hugging him because he is basically a human Charmin paper towel roll. Bonus if he’s wearing flannel which, come on, he almost always is.

2. He will never judge you for ordering seconds or being hungry even though you just ate. He eats when he wants to eat and what he wants to eat, and thinks it’s super cool that you do too.

3. He’s amazing at planning dates because he knows all the best burger places in town. The place you walk by all the time and have been meaning to try? Yeah, he’s already been there three times and knows exactly what you should order.

4. You can put your head directly on his collarbone and it still feels like a rolled-up blanket. As opposed to putting your head against a chiseled metal filing cabinet.

5. He’s got time for you. Since he’s not at the gym 24/7 staring at his own pecs, he has time to stay in bed and watch movies and eat cookies he probably baked for you before you came over.

6. When he gets a T-shirt thats a little too tight, his meaty bod looks way more tempting than a cold, hard six-pack ever did. Whenever I see ripped, hairless abs, I just assume his genitals are smooth plastic like a Ken doll’s. They’re probably not but still, is it worth the risk?

7. He’s accepted himself as he is, so he accepts you as you are. He’s not perfect and he doesn’t expect you to be either. Therefore: leg hair? Don’t care.

8. When he doesn’t get a haircut for a little too long and he looks like the mop-headed teen boys you loved in your youth. All that’s missing is a popsicle stain down the front of their striped shirt. Love it so much.

9. If something isn’t working in your relationship, he’s going to want to work through it.He likes to be comfortable, so he wants to make sure you’re both comfortable in the relationship. Therefore, with him, communication will always be a thing.

10. He is a human blockade for stuff you’d rather not see or deal with. If he sees you’re about to step in dog poop, he will literally put his massive man-body in front of yours so your shoes/day aren’t ruined. He doesn’t even think to do this; his body just knows it is what it must do.

9 Things Only Women Who Date Husky Guys Understand

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1. Not being able to breathe during hugs. That’s a lot of man.

2. And girl-on-top is your jam for the same reason. He’s just a tad heavier than you.

3. Feeling like a Polly Pocket living in your tiny Polly Pocket world. Even if you’re 5-foot-8, 170 pounds, you still feel like Thumbelina up in his bed.

4. Being able to use him as a human heat lamp in the winter. If you’re like me and you’re cold constantly, cuddling up to a husky guy is like being wrapped in a hug that was put in the microwave and also comes with a brownie.

5. But you’ll never be able to borrow his sweater and have it be like “sexy boyfriend fit.” Because it’s just a huge sack of wool that goes down to your knees and no one thinks that is sexy. Except maybe him because he rules.

6. Knowing he’d squash anyone who crosses you even if he’s not really that strong. Like, is he really any better at protecting you than a skinny guy would be? Who knows. But it feels that way sometimes and even if that’s not true, it’s fun to pretend he’s a superhero who would forcefully tell someone to “unhand” you.

7. Always having amazing food in the house. You know those guys you date and you wake up in the morning and you’re like, “What do you have to eat?” and they’re like, “Bottles of Corona and mustard,” and you’re like, “I hate this”? That will never, ever happen with him. Boy has stockpiles of food, and makes eggs with bacon and toast every morning. You are covered.

8. When you’re out and your shoes are killing you, he will always give you a piggyback ride. You basically have to beg him to put you down and everything about that is great.

9. Not having to find a nook on his chest when you’re snuggling. You can put your head literally anywhere on his chest and be comfortable as fuck. You don’t have to navigate away from his jutting sternum or various ribs; it’s just all pillowy, next-to-his-heartbeat loveliness forever and ever.

Weekly Roundup

This. Wow, just wow. Side note – if for some reason you can’t have the real deal, this is your next best option.

20 most basic names and what they say about you.

Why women never forget. Makes total sense now, doesn’t it?

Mascara alert! A dog’s bucket list.

Have you heard about Slide the City? Looks fun.

Weekly Roundup

After getting on his daughter’s computer, this dad writes this letter. I think more dads should be like this man.

13 ways to know you’re dating a grown-ass man.

13 ways to know you’re dating a high-quality woman.

15 things you didn’t know your iPhone could do.

This video makes me want to have all. the. dogs.

I’m not an AC/DC fan, but the fact that this can be done with a cello is amazing.

HOLY MELTDOWN! This little boy’s reaction to a gender reveal is funny. “It’s always girls, girls girls. I hate girls. No more girls.”

Tell me all the bad words you know..

I read in Cosmo that there actually is a reason we say we want to eat babies. A newborn’s scent triggers an area of the brain that releases dopamine, the same hormone that lights up when you eat, according to a study from the Technical University of Dresden.

What Daughters Wish Their Daddies Knew

Saw this on The Bert Show and thought I’d share.

What Daughters Wish Their Daddies Knew:

1. How you love me is how I will love myself.
2. Ask how I am feeling and listen to my answer, I need to know you value me before I can understand my true value.
3. I learn how I should be treated by how you treat my mom, whether you are married to her or not.
4. If you are angry with me, I feel it even if I don’t understand it, so talk to me.
5. Every time you show grace to me or someone else, I learn to trust God a little more.
6. I need to experience your nurturing physical strength, so I learn to trust the physicality of men.
7. Please don’t talk about sex like a teenage boy, or I think it’s something dirty.
8. When your tone is gentle, I understand what you are saying much better.
9. How you talk about female bodies when you’re “just joking” is what I believe about my own.
10. How you handle my heart, is how I will allow it to be handled by others.
11. If you encourage me to find what brings joy, I will always seek it.
12. If you teach me what safe feels like when I’m with you, I will know better how to guard myself from men who are not.
13. Teach me a love of art, science, and nature, and I will learn that intellect matters more than dress size.
14. Let me say exactly what I want even if it’s wrong or silly, because I need to know having a strong voice is acceptable to you.
15. When I get older, if you seem afraid of my changing body, I will believe something is wrong with it.
16. If you understand contentment for yourself, so will I.
17. When I ask you to let go, please remain available; I will always come back and need you if you do.
18. If you demonstrate tenderness, I learn to embrace my own vulnerability rather than fear it.
19. When you let me help fix the car and paint the house, I will believe I can do anything a boy can do.
20. When you protect my femininity, I learn everything about me is worthy of protecting.
21. How you treat our dog when you think I’m not watching tells me more about you than does just about anything else.
22. Don’t let money be everything, or I learn not to respect it or you.
23. Hug, hold, and kiss me in all the ways a daddy does that are right & good & pure. I need it so much to understand healthy touch.
24. Please don’t lie, because I believe what you say.
25. Don’t avoid hard conversations, because it makes me believe I’m not worth fighting for.

 

annnnd now I understand why I have all the issues I do. whomp whomp

Weekly Roundup

How amazing is this story!? A wife induces labor so her dying husband can hold their newborn one time.

Does your birth number describe you? I got #7. Accurate!

8 acts of chivalry to bring back. I like to think of it as bringing sexy back.

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Betty White is older than sliced bread and other fun facts.

16 habits of highly sensitive people

 

Weekly Roundup

Do married men gain weight so they don’t cheat?

This..

Awesome.

If you have a unique name, you should check this out.

People are idiots.

Happy V Day

 

 

Nothing says Happy Valentine’s Day like a some e card..

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5 Love Languages

I took the 5 love languages quiz to find out what my love languages were. Of course I’m two of them because I’m high maintenance. Typical. Here are the two I got:

Quality Time

 

In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether itʼs spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.

 

Physical Touch

 

A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to you.

Well, at least that explains why my last relationship didn’t work out. Take the quiz here.

V Day

Or what I like to refer to as my day. 😀 If you’re in a normal relationship, I think it’s safe to assume that you’re going to get laid on Valentine’s Day. In order to do that, you should probably better show up with gifts. Here are some sure-fire ways to ensure you get some. These should all be a no brainer, but sometimes men are stupid. Just being honest.

Lingerie

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The Mesh & Lace Corset is a good idea. I browsed VS and I was a little disappointed in their selection. You could always settle for a lacy bra and panty.

Chocolate

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Godiva is always a good way to go. You can’t go wrong with a Godiva truffle or chocolate covered strawberry.

Jewelry

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Kendra Scott is a great place for jewelry. They have a ton of items to choose from and you can also customize pieces like I did in this picture. If that doesn’t work for you, you can’t go wrong with diamonds.

Flowers

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I love this arrangement. It has everything.. pops of color, roses and my personal favorite, those lilies.

This is also pretty. I am a big fan of the square vases with the leaves wrapped around. This is when it comes in handy to know her favorite flowers. Of course you can’t ever go wrong with roses. Bonus points for sending her flowers to the office.

As a general rule, the more items you show up with, the higher your chances are of getting the good stuff. And I don’t just mean sex. The. Good. Stuff. Just don’t wait around last minute. The best items are always picked over if you do!

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If you can’t afford anything, make her a card. Yes, make. As long as its sweet and thoughtful, you’re golden.

Things I Want..

This!

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and this..

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which is why I refuse to settle.

Positive

Can a person be too positive? This conversation happened between myself and a friend earlier today. We were talking about heartache and how everything happens for a reason.

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It’s so much easier to look back and think, yes that happened in order for ____ to happen. At the time, it sucked. I’d like to credit The Single Woman and just finishing her book for reiterating things I already knew. It sounds lame and cheesy, but sometimes you need the reminders.

Happy

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It’s true what they say, the older you get the wiser you become.

Some people choose to stick by decisions they’ve made, being unhappy, than to be happy. I understand to an extent because there are so many unknowns that can terrify you. I think that if you have faith that everything will work out, it will. Taking that leap however, is the first step. It’s not an easy one, but I don’t think it should be.

I know of too many couples that are together “for the kids” or because getting married is “the next step”. Both of which, I do not agree with.

Kids are much more perceptive than adults realize. They pick up on things. They mimic things. If you have an unhappy marriage, your kids pick up on tiny details and they know. Not only do they know, they think the relationship you have with your partner is normal. Which is not normal. I personally believe that it’s better for kids to see each parent happy, even if they are apart.

I think there are many factors as to why people aren’t in happy marriage. Mostly, I think they settled and/or they didn’t wait to marry the right person for them.

I found out recently that an acquaintance of mine drinks half a bottle of Jack a night because that’s the only way she knows how to handle her life. She is young, beautiful, smart and extremely unhappy. On the outside she has the picture perfect family. Finding out this information made me sad for her. Why would you do that to yourself? Why would you allow yourself to be unhappy for the rest of your life?

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As ready as I think I am to get married, God is telling me that I’m not. For me, it’s never been about getting married, but about finding that person that challenges me, loves me unconditionally, thinks the world of me and vice versa.

Remember when I posted about Eric & Jessie? I watched their wedding episode. It was nothing short of amazing. They are clearly in love with each other. I love that she became so overwhelmed with emotion when she opened her wedding present from Eric. That to me, is what real love is all about. The way they are together.

 

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The Break Up

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Over Christmas there wasn’t a lot on tv. One movie that I watched was The Break Up with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Anniston. I was playing around on my Mac and half listening to the movie in the background. Towards the end one particular scene caught my eye….

 

Brooke: I just don’t know how we got here. Our entire relationship, I have gone above and beyond for you, for us. I’ve cooked, I’ve picked your shit up off the floor, I’ve laid your clothes out for you like you’re a four year old. I support you, I supported your work. If we ever had dinner or anything I did the plans, I take care of everything. And I just don’t feel like you appreciate any of it. I don’t feel you appreciate me. All I want is to know, is for you to show me that you care.

Gary: Why didn’t you just say that to me?

Brooke: I tried. I’ve tried.

Gary: Never like that, you might have said some things that meant to imply that, but I’m not a mind reader…

Brooke: It wouldn’t matter you are who you are. Just leave me alone ok? Right now, just shut my door.

 

Story. Of. My. Life. Holy balls. Also, this scene between Gary and his friend Johnny O.

 

Gary: I mean, what does she expect, for me to want to go [to the concert] with the girl who dumped me?
Johnny O: I don’t know. She probably just wanted you, you know, to show her the respect of not standing her up or some shit, who knows?
Gary:  Well, damn it. I should have just said no in the first place. I don’t know why I called…
Johnny O: You know what? It’s her fault she got hurt. You shouldn’t even feel bad about it. She should have expected it from you. You’re a fun guy, okay? Everybody likes you. You’re the quickest guy I know. Anytime we go out, I have a blast. All right? But, you know, everybody who knows you knows you’re gonna do what you want to do. And if it’s not what the other person wants to do, well, that’s their problem.
Gary: That’s bullshit.
Johnny O: It’s not bullshit.
Gary: There’s plenty of times I do shit that I don’t want to do. That’s ridiculous. No. Like when? That’s bullshit to say about me.
Johnny O: When have we ever done something you didn’t want to do?
Gary: You know, I don’t know, off the top of my head. I don’t keep score…
Johnny O: When’s the last time we went to a Sox game? The Sox. Not when they’re playing the Cubs, either. We always do what you want to do and she always did what you want to do. It’s who you are. Everybody thinks that you’re their friend, okay? But the fact of the matter is that there’s not one person that I know that you trust enough to let close enough that they could hurt you. And her big problem is that you really liked her. I mean, she is the one girl you really liked. And no matter what she did and how hard she tried, you were never gonna let your guard down. That poor girl never stood a chance.

My entire relationship with M is summed up in those two scenes. My life is sad. 😛

Finding Happiness

This. Is. Perfection.

 

Finding Happiness In Your 20s

Why It Sucks To Be Single Today

SO true!

Too Hard to Handle

Last weekend a friend of mine and I were talking about different things we liked in men, inside the bedroom and outside. She mentioned one quality in particular that she wanted. I laughed at her and I told her what she wanted, few men would not be willing to do. I also told her that it will take a real man to step up to the plate. I was laughing and I told her that I think most men can’t handle her. Then it hit me…

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Am I too much to handle?

Happy Birthday To My Other Half

My other half as in, the woman that is always there for me, even that one time when we didn’t talk for 2 years.  Oopsies.

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The woman that knows what I mean when I say “blood is not thicker than water”, because she has also been there, and doesn’t try to change my opinion.

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The woman that understands and listens to me when I talk about my childhood relationship with my dad. How he beat me was never the amazing father, how I always wanted that awesome father/daughter relationship, because her childhood was similar.

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The woman that understands what it feels like to walk in on your bf/fiance cheating on you, because it happened to her, a year earlier, in the same house.

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The woman that drove an hour to pick me up from said house, kicked her husband out of bed, and talked with me all night long and the next day because I called her in shock immediately after it happened.

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The woman that you know any man would be lucky if she picks him because she loves sex, loves football, and is a strong independent woman, just like you.

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The woman that you packed an entire house for because you knew she needed to move.

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The woman that you thought was intimidating when you first met her.

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The woman that you share every tiny detail with.

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The woman that is inspiring because she seems like she can do everything.

The woman that is inspiring because she tries to do everything.

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The woman that understands precisely what I mean when I say I hate my small town I’m from.

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The woman that drives you crazy because she over analyzes things just as much as you do.

The woman that is a replica of you, just 3 years older and brunette.

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The woman that has completely opposite taste in men from you.

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The woman that tells you “we will make a plan” when you are freaking out because you are questioning so many things in your present life.

The woman that will drive 3 hours to be with you at your dad’s visitation because she knows what it’s like to lose a parent, but can’t actually come because she caught pink eye. ha!

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The woman that will spend 9 hours with you, 6 of those in a car, helping you pack up your dad’s house.

The woman that will finish your sentences or say your thoughts out loud.

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The woman that you know you can say anything to and vice versa because you both have each others best interests at heart.

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The woman that knows what it’s like to have a crush on a co-worker.

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The woman that completely understands my relationship with M because she has been there before.

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The woman that Bentley feels comfortable around. If you know what a baby my dog is, this is huge.

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The woman that currently will get all of my retirement money if anything happens to me before I marry.

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The woman that will have a baby for me, if I decide to, because I don’t want to jack up my body and because I’m selfish.

The woman that understands how important it is to maintain yourself because she’s thinks so too.

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The woman that supports and encourages you even though she may not agree with you, because that’s just what friends do.

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The woman that I am lucky enough to call my best friend, which doesn’t seem to do justice to what she really means to me.

Quitting Dating

I love when I find a post I really identify with. When I read it nodding my head the whole time because, OMG I’m normal!
Whitney has a way with her writing.. There’s something about it that I can always identify with. I do not know her in person, even though she’s also an ATLian, but I feel like she’s one of those people that you could talk to about anything and she would just listen. Those people are awesome people to have in your life.
Enough rambling, check out her post.
The fact is, somewhere along the line, I’ve become consumed with – obsessed with – dating. I’ve spent a lot of time in the last few months pursuing my relationship with God, but I’ve remained a little frustrated. For months, I’ve felt like I’ve been hitting a glass ceiling – getting so close, yet something was still keeping me from Him.

5 Things Men and Women Should Start Doing Again

I recently came across Thought Catalog and a post by Chelsea Fagan on five things men and women should start doing again. Brilliant. Here are some of the ones for women I agree with.
She says, As always, these are simply my personal favorite habits that we’ve largely let slip by the wayside, and I am more than aware that some of you are still living them to the fullest or have no interest in making them a part of your own life. An ass for every seat, as it were.

Using fancy stockings with garter belts.

Hosting Barefoot Contessa-esque parties.

Day drinking with abandon.

Wearing incredibly fancy shit for no reason.

Crush

I have come to the realization that I have a big crush on someone fairly close to me. He reminds me a lot of my ex, but he is the older, more ideal man. Basically, he is what I hoped my ex would become, what I saw the potential for. One of my friends pointed it out recently. I thought, no way, no he doesn’t. She then described specific details, and yeah, he does.  She told me the reason I had a crush on this older man was because he is the older version that treats me how I deserve to be treated. BOOM. Yeah, and she’s probably right. Of course it helps that we have similar personalities and can joke around about anything.

The sad part is, I always find myself talking about my ex in situations. Like if I’m having a conversation with a friend about something funny, it will remind me of something he did, etc. It’s depressing, really. I guess it’s just hard to let go. I think the reason that it’s so hard for me is because I did see a lot of potential in him. He was scared to fully expose himself which I think was the reason we never worked out. People say it’s all about timing, and you know what? Those people annoy me.

Why is it that we remember the good in relationships and not the bad? Shouldn’t the bad remind us of why the relationship never worked out to begin with?

I came across this quote in a beauty blog (of all places!) It read…

“And for the first time the help I knew I needed was not help for my ability to cure him, it was help for my ability to help myself.
I finally hated the pain I was in more than I hated the idea of letting go of it.”

How very true. I think there comes a time in everyones lives when they reach a breaking point. Now to figure out what to do about this crush on the older guy with amazing blue eyes..

Pinterest Quotes

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I actually quoted this on GoodReads, which shows up on my blog randomly.

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Match

Are any of you on Match.com? Three of my best friends are on or have been on at some point. I think that’s fairly normal this day and age.

Earlier this week I was at my friend’s place and she was browsing her matches. She came across a guy and she said “he looks like your type!” so I looked at him and I was like, yeahhh he does! So she handed me her phone and I started reading his information. On paper, he sounds like my perfect guy. The only things I wasn’t sure about is that he has 3 kids, he’s divorced, and he’s 38. My friend said, “V, you don’t even know if you want kids anymore, so at least he has that covered for you if you truly decide you don’t, and God made the internet!” hahaha Meaning for me to suck it up and sign up. I’m still not sold on the idea. First dates are awkward enough!

So, here is what his profile said.. Two days later and I can’t stop thinking about this guy. So weird. I’m adding my thoughts in teal.

38, woman between 25-40. Divorced, 3 daughters, athletic and toned, 6’1” Christian, doesn’t smoke, social drinker

38 would technically be out of my age range, but age is just a number, so they say. I never thought I’d date a divorced man. I’d be curious to know what happened, but I’d honestly want to hear her side of the story too. 3 daughters? Dang. Athletic, toned, 6’1″, Christian, doesn’t smoke and social drinker I am down with.

Interests: book club, business networking, camping, coffee and conversation, dining out, gardening, hobbies, movies, museums, music, nightclubs, performing arts, playing cards, playing sports, politics, religion/spiritual, shopping, travel, video games, volunteering, watching sports

video games?

Sports & Exercise: cycling, dancing, golf, racquet sports, walking, weights/machines, basketball, billiards/pool, football, bowling, skiing, volleyball

nice..

Exercise habits: 3-4 times a week

about how mine are..

Political views: middle of the road

same as mine

Hair: dark brown

love dark hair

Eyes: brown

I’ve always dated guys with light eyes, except my ex. He had hazel green/brown. I prefer light, but that’s kind of picky, right?

I’ve been out of a long term relationship for a while and am ready to start dating seriously again. My sister met her husband on Match, so I’m looking forward to meeting some great people here and hopefully eventually find a person to spend the rest of my life with. I’m not in a hurry, or feeling desperate at all, but I’m feeling like its time to get a little more serious about this.

I’m not in a hurry either but at the same time, it’s nice to have someone there.

Here are a few things about me you should know:

I’m a confident person and am looking for someone with similar self-confidence. I’m also pretty independent and value that quality in my match. I love spending time together, but appreciate someone who is okay being on her own or with friends without me sometimes. I’m very intellectually curious and love to learn about: other people’s interests and tastes, new cultures, new books, intellectually stimulating movies and TV programs (although I watch very little TV), different faiths and religions, and really anything that’s new and different from what I’ve experienced before. I avoid the superficial and always try to find deeper meaning and understanding. I value intelligence and will definitely be interesting in your opinions, likes, dislikes, desires, career, relationships and everything else that comprises you as an individual.

I’m pretty confident and independent, dating my ex made me more so. I also watch very little TV and different faiths fascinate me.

I’m professional and a gentleman for sure, but am not overly concerned about social norms or being politically correct all the time. I’m an Aquarius and hence enjoy being a bit provocative and maybe even a little eccentric at times. I’m not afraid of public speaking, dancing pretty much anywhere, any form of spontaneity, must fun outdoor or athletic activities, or a little PDA sometimes. I’m a confident person and wont worry too much about what others think as long as we’re having a good time together.

Am I ever politically correct? I loathe public speaking. Most of the time the only reason I go out is to dance. He likes PDA sometimes, me too. It’s rare for me to care about what others think if I’m having a good time. I like watching sports, not necessarily playing, especially for competition.

I’m a bit of a tease and very sarcastic. I like a woman who can hold her own in conversation, and who’s not afraid to put me in my  place when I deserve it. I love dry humor and witty conversation. Its great to meet someone who sees humor and irony in everyday situations.

haha, I am very sarcastic and I am definitely not afraid to put someone in their place when they deserve it.  Not so sure about the dry sense of humor, I suppose it depends on how dry.

Friendship to me is key. I want to be my partners best friend, and want her to feel the same.

Ditto

I’m also a romantic… I know how to treat a woman like a lady and consider myself a gentleman.

Awesome! I love romantic men.

I’m very energetic and outgoing and am looking for someone who likes to be active indoors and outdoors. I like to plan creative dates and activities but also love heading out and doing something spur-of-the-moment.

Does being active outdoors include walking to my car? 😉  Love a guy that’s spontaneous.

Attraction is important. Chemistry is a must, but physical attraction is only part of that. A strong emotional connection has to be there as well. I’m a very passionate person and want to feel that connection, physically, mentally and emotionally.

Completely agree.

I think one of the best things I have to offer, is that I am a considerate and kind person. I like to be supportive of my partner in any way I can, and am a good listener. In the same way, I’m looking for a strong person but one who is also kind and caring.

Listening is SO important. Not only listening, but retaining that information. Consideration is another important factor to me in a relationship.

Some things that interest me: international travel, news and politics, hiking and biking, working out, nightlife, fine dining, movies, concerts, technology.

I like international travel. I mean, I haven’t done it, but I want to! Big fan of techie stuff, music, food, and being active.

I’m not big on emailing forever before meeting. I like to text and talk on the phone a little first and then meet casually for a drink or somewhere conductive to good conversation.

Perfect meeting date.

I have three adorable daughters that stay with me every other weekend. I have a good relationship with my ex. I have plenty of time in my life for love and am open to having more children in the future. I love kids.

Not sure how I feel about this. 3 daughters is a hand full. Although, the older I get I’m not sure if I actually want kids, so this might work. ha!

For Fun:

Variety is what matters to me when it comes to entertainment, recreation and dating. I prefer a combination of outdoor recreation, sports, games, movies, dinners and drinks, dancing, fine arts, concerts and anything else spontaneous that comes along.

Word.

Favorite Hot Spots:

My favorite places to visit are the Caribbean, Hong Kong, South America, San Francisco, Paris… I haven’t visited the Mediterranean yet, but would love to go. I also of course love the rocky mountains of Wyoming where I grew up.

Wyoming? I’ve always had a thing for southern men.

Favorite Things:

I love traveling. I’m really lucky that I get to do it quite a bit in my career, but id really like to take more travel vacations. I haven’t been to the Bahamas yet and I love so close! I’m not a big TV watcher, but I love movies.

Jealous. I wish I could travel and see places for work sometimes. I am also not a big TV watcher.

Last Read:

I enjoy keeping up on current events, business and politics. I love fiction as well – it keeps me sane and entertained when I travel. If I have a choice I usually prefer reading over TV. I’m currently reading The Social Animal by David Brooks.

I like men that can throw out a random fact or two about business, current events, etc.

My Occupation:

I’m an executive with a large consulting firm.

My Ethnicity:

I’m 100% Caucasian but speak Spanish pretty well as a 2nd language.

Sweet! One other guy I dated spoke Spanish as a second language too. I am always curious what people are saying.

My Education:

Undergraduate degree in Chemical Engineering

 

Am I the only one that was impressed by that? I was talking to my boss about it on Friday and as soon as I said he was divorced he asked if the guy had kids. When I said he had 3 daughters my boss was all “yeah, you don’t need that.” haha Isn’t it funny how you can think someone is perfect for you and then upon further inspection they aren’t really? What a cruel joke, world. Well played.

Being Single and Being Awesome

I came across this post on fellow ATLian Whitney’s blog. She highlights some reasons you should be happy you’re young and single.

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  1. You can be selfish
  2. You have time to figure yourself out and what you want
  3. You can figure out what your deal breakers are

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Check out her post! I agreed with all of it. As much as I’m ready to settle down, it’s nice to be reminded that I can do whatever I want without having to take into consideration anyone else.

Grey

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Yes, I know. I’m probably the last person in the world to jump on the Grey bandwagon. My friend loaned me these books in December and I finally decided the summer was a great time to read them. What else will I do besides drink at the pool on my free Saturdays?

I ran errands ALL day Sunday. Literally from 2PM – 8PM. I had to unload groceries and other items and clean a little. Finally around 11 I decided to just open the book. I figured I would just read the first two chapters. Around 3:20AM I finally put the book down. Page. Turner. That my friends (that haven’t read it) is an understatement.

I am officially obsessed with this book. I am over half way through with the first. Yesterday at work, it was all I could think about. I had to go home at lunch! I was chatting with a friend of mine, and we both agreed that it was a life-changer book.

I’ve had the passion with an ex that is in this book, but not quite to the extent that they have it. It does make me wonder if I’ll ever have that kind of passion again. There were a lot of things wrong with that relationship (that’s another post for another day) but ultimately I know that real love will trump that relationship ten fold.

With paragraphs like this, how can you not love the book? This isn’t even the rest of this particular occurrence! For you non Grey people, this is actually the first time they have any physical contact.

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 I’m so obsessed with this book I’ve even started deciding on who I think should be cast in the movie. ha! Here are some of my choices.

Anastasia Steele

What we know about her: She’s about to graduate college, she has fair skin and brown hair, doesn’t wear makeup, wears mostly jeans and Converse, beautiful, innocent but seductive, doe-like eyes, virgin.

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Nina Dobrev

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Ashley Benson
 
 
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Lily Collins
 
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Alexis Bledel – her voice kind of annoys me though
 
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Emmy Rossum
 
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Ashley Greene
 
 
Christian Grey
What we know about him: he’s 27, a billionaire, has his own company, tall, sexy, pretty teeth, copper hair, very fit, big youknowwhat
 
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Matt Bomer
 
Ian-Somerhalder
 
Ian Somerhalder – He’s already gone on record saying that he would love to play Grey.
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Jake Gyllenhaal – According to Digital Spy, when Gyllenhaal heard the news, he responded: ‘That’s super flattering. I mean, I have not heard that, but if that’s true then that’s a nice thing. It’s always nice to be considered.’ As for considering the role? ‘Yeah, of course! I always want to work, man, of course.’
Michael-Fassbender
 
Michael Fassbender – not sure if he is handsome enough?
 
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Chris Pine – He took his name out of the running for the star-making Fifty Shades of Grey movie role during an appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
 
 
I think Emmy Rossum and Lily Collins could pull off a great Ana. As far as Christian goes, I think Chris Pine would be perfect. Mike Bomer is set to play Superman, and I couldn’t see the same person pulling off Christian. I really think that they will cast people that are less known for the movies.
 
The one thing that I don’t like about the book so far, is that whole “Laters, Baby” thing. UGH that annoys me because it’s so dumb. That, and when she’s describing where he touches her, she sometimes says “my sex”. Pet peeve. Let’s just call a spade a spade ok E.L.?
 

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