Category: health

23 Things Every Woman Should Stop Doing

At times women are too hard on themselves.   I heard my morning radio station talking about things every woman should stop doing. There was a total of 23 things. Here is the list, created by Huffington Post

 

It is conventional wisdom that we’re our own worst enemies and despite the cliche, the idea rings true. We often drive ourselves insane striving for perfection in our experiences, relationships and selves, and honestly it just becomes exhausting. So here at HuffPost Women we’re issuing a challenge to ourselves — and other women — to stop doing these 23 things. (Of course it’s all easier said than done, but to employ another cliche, if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.)

1. Apologizing all the time.

2. Saying “yes” to everyone else.

3. Saying “no” to yourself.

4. Viewing food as the enemy.

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5. Body-snarking — out loud or in your own head.

6. Feeling like an impostor when you accomplish something professionally.

7. Obsessively untagging every “unflattering” photo of you that ever existed online.

internet addiction

8. Comparing your real life to someone else’s virtual one.

9. Holding on to regrets and guilt.

10. Wearing heels every day.

heels dress code

11. Judging other women’s sex lives.

12. Judging your own sex life.

13. Trying to be “chill.”

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14. Fearing the label “crazy.”

15. WebMD-ing everything.

16. Worrying that your life doesn’t look like Pinterest.

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17. Fearing being alone.

18. Being in relationships for the sake of having a relationship.

19. Not taking advantage of your vacation days.

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20. Holding on to toxic friendships.

21. Spending time with people out of obligation.

22. Being embarrassed about your interests.

23. Setting deadlines for major life events.

Running

When I was little I was equal parts tomboy and girly girl. Over the years I seemed to have gottent rid of the tomboy part of myself. I played softball one year in middle school and I hated it. I suppose I’ve just never found anything that has kept me interested. Except gymnastics, but the whole doing a flip in the air and landing on a bar and not killing yourself really terrifies me.

As I’m nearing 30, it has become more evident that this tiny petite body I’ve always had won’t stay long if I don’t work at it. Overall I eat pretty healthy. I love all things cake and cupcakes, but in moderation. Not that I’ve noticed gravity taking place, but I want to be lean and tone. Jiggles aren’t cute. There’s no other way to say it. I’ve always been the girl that thought..

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In order to expand my horizons, my BFF decided we needed to participate in C25K. I actually agreed to do it! I figured that it would be fun to do little 5Ks in other cities. That way not only are we being all healthy and stuff, we get to travel and see different cities. It’s a win win, right? c25k

We decided a few weeks ago to actually go through with it and last night was our first night preparing. It honestly wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. At times I could feel my calves getting sore, but I wasn’t dying. I was pretty happy when it was over though. I’m a little sore today, but I was also sore from dancing over the weekend. Tonight is night 2. It’s a little scary to think that I can actually do a 5K.

My first walk/run is this weekend. My coworker’s wife asked us all to participate in an event for Lekotek. It’s a walk/run for 4 miles, so it shouldn’t be too hard. Wish me luck!

Beckford

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You’re welcome.

While this is not my ideal body for a man, I definitely appreciate what he’s working with. Even better that he did it for cancer. I’m blaming 50 Shades for my hormonal imbalance. 😉

Trial That Should Have More Media Coverage

Thank God for blogging. I hadn’t heard about this terrifying case until I came across a blog that posted about it. I read the article with my hand over my mouth the entire time.  To think that SO many people overlooked it makes me feel sick. Who cares if the subject is touchy – what numerous people – his staff, hospitals, etc. – did was just wrong any way you look at it. I haven’t read any comments that addressed that issue. Makes me so sad there are so many horrible people out there! I pray that the Gosnells, his staff, and the government officials that did nothing will all have repercussions for their actions.

Why Dr. Kermit Gosnell’s Trial Should Be a Front-Page Story

The dead babies. The exploited women. The racism. The numerous governmental failures. It is thoroughly newsworthy.
Click HERE to read the story. It will blow your mind. Here is what USA Today says about it.

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Within the past month or longer I have had trouble sleeping. I love sleep and it loves me right back. To say that I’m not happy I can’t sleep through the night is an understatement. Sure I’ll wake up to pee or take B out to pee – and even then I get annoyed – but I’ve never had trouble falling asleep again.

I will wake up several times throughout the night and if my back is to my door, I have to turn over. I can see my front door from my bed, and I have to stare at it before I go back to sleep. Why, I have no idea. It’s like I’m afraid someone will break in. Which is kind of redic – all outside doors lock and you have to have a key to get in the building.

Sometimes Most of the time I am terrified I will see my dad in my place. Creepy, right? It’s true though. I strictly told him I didn’t want to see him. (I’m totally aware I sound like I need to be committed). He was a big jokester, so who knows. I was always the type of person to think ghosts/spirits were not real…until he passed away. Also, one of my BFFs mother’s died in 1997 and she has told me that at times she can feel her mom’s presence in her house. I think you tend to give more cred when you actually know someone that has gone through this, versus hearing about it from a stranger. At least I do.

At 5:30 this morning I woke up from a dream that was all too real. I had a vivid dream of how the world was going to end. Let’s just say that at 5:30am I was seriously contemplating on getting up and starting my day. It freaked me out enough to start looking for a psychologist. I need someone to help me make sense of all this and more importantly – to start sleeping better! Prayers!

Sugar Gel Hair Removal?

I came across an ad for sugar gel hair removal in Simply Buckhead magazine while picking up cupcakes for a friend. The sugar gel hair removal part caught my eye.. Check out their website, they even have a cute little Buckhead theme song! “The Beverly Hills of the East”.

waxing

Unique Threading & Body Waxing is the only place in Atlanta to offer sugar gel hair removal. It’s a form of hair removal that is similar to waxing, but its much more gentle and less painful (so they say) to endure, and it also requires a higher level of skill to perform. They offer a Brazilian wax at $30 and eyebrow threading at $8.

Specializing In:

  • Eyebrow threading
  • Brazilian body waxing
  • Herbal facials
  • Henna tattoos
  • Sugar gel waxing

Check out their website for more info.

How About Today?

In light of recent events, I loved this post I came across on MaskCara. She talks about how people in general are always preparing themselves for the next thing in life. I myself am guilty of this. I’m a planner by nature. It’s good to stop and take the moment in, which I try to do often. Maybe that’s why Oprah suggested keeping a Gratitude Journal? 🙂

Check out her post in the link above.

My Death

Last week I had a dream I was dying. I was in the hospital and I kept telling people that I didnt want to see my dad bc he would be coming to take me to the other side. I’m not sure what was wrong with me, but I know I had a catheter and tubes down my throat. Crazy, right? Natch, I googled what all of that meant…

To see and talk with your dead parents in your dreams represent your fears of losing them or your way of coping with the loss. You are using your dream as a last opportunity to say your final good-byes to them.

To dream that you die in your dream symbolizes inner changes, transformation, self-discovery and positive development that is happening within you or your life. You are undergoing a transitional phase and are becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Although such a dream may bring about feelings of fear and anxiety, it is no cause for alarm as it is often considered a positive symbol.  Dreams of experiencing your own death usually means that big changes are ahead for you. You are moving on to new beginnings and leaving the past behind. These changes does not necessarily imply a negative turn of events. Metaphorically, dying can be seen as an end or a termination to your old ways and habits. So, dying does not always mean a physical death, but an ending of something.

On a negative note, to dream that you die may represent involvement in deeply painful relationships or unhealthy, destructive behaviors. You may feeling depressed or feel strangled by a situation or person in your waking life. Perhaps your mind is preoccupied with someone who is terminally ill or dying. Alternatively, you may be trying to get out of some obligation, responsibility or other situation. You are desperately trying to escape from the demands of your daily life.

To see or dream that you are in a hospital symbolizes your need to heal or improve your physical or mental health. You need to get back to the flow of everyday life. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are giving up control of your own body. Perhaps you are afraid of losing control of your body.

Dead on. Pun intended.

Last Moments with My Dad

Sorry this post has taken a long time for me to write. It’s precious to me and I wanted to make sure I was able to get everything down.

If you keep up with my blog or follow me on Twitter, you know that my dad passed away..

Saturday July 7th I got out of the pool to see several texts and missed calls from my sister. My cousin called her saying that my dad was in bad shape and if she wanted to see him that she needed to get there soon. With that, I left the pool, showered and packed like a maniac.

It’s a 3 hour drive to my hometown from Atlanta and I actually got pulled over and was given a ticket. Exact reason I don’t like cops – he asked why I was speeding and I told him my dad was dying. He asked a few more details and I was given a ticket. As if I wasn’t already hyperventilating, when I got back on the road I had the ugly cry.

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Sunset driving home

Luckily I made it to my dads in enough time to spend a full week with him. This was him the night we arrived. He would fall asleep in the middle of a conversation.

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One conversation that absolutely cracked me up was one that he had with one of his sisters with my cousin {her daughter} and myself in the room. My aunt told my dad that she was going home since he had two helpers. I guess he got offended by this because he said, “Why?” My aunt told him that John {her husband} was home. He responded with, “So?!” She reassured him that she was going to come tomorrow to see him. He told her, “If you’re not going to come until 5PM, don’t bother!” hahahaha! I get my non filtered mouth from him.

That was a rough week! Luckily we were able to get away at times. Dealing with your dad close to death and your crazy family is a lot to take in.

We had a neighbor bring us figs! Too bad I didn’t get any.

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One day we had to leave the house because our family was driving us crazy. We wanted to go have some wine but the main restaurant in town was closed. So we opted for the gas station. We drank in the car at a park which happened to be right outside the sheriff’s office. Ha!

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Another day we had to go into town and stopped by a local farmers market for some boiled peanuts. Mmhmm!

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During the week we spent as much time with him as we could. It was hard to get alone time with him though.

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Me holding his hand

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Nic holding his hand

The one time we were left alone to take care of him we had a bit of an accident. He was being stubborn per usual and wanted to turn over. He kind of laid in the bed funny. Nic and I just laughed to ourselves. Typical that he was being stubborn and we didn’t quite know how to help him get to the position he wanted.

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One of my favorite moments was when we laid beside him in his bed.

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We had a lot to take care of during that week. We found out that he had signed his house over to us in February, we changed the car title over, picked out his coffin, picked out flowers for his blanket, decided on music to play with a slide show of pictures for the viewing, and found poems and songs to be played at the funeral. Some of this was done after he passed. We were just going through the motions.

You could see a noticeable difference in him daily. One morning my sister and I woke up hearing him in pain. He hated staying in his bed so he liked to walk around even though it took about an hour for him to get to one end of the house to the other.

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When we felt overwhelmed we would walk around in his yard. He had a beautiful yard.

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Two days before he passed I was sitting beside his hospital bed in the house talking to him. During those two days he was not talking and would only make noises when he was in pain or say water. I was holding both of his hands and told him that all I had ever wanted was for him to walk me down the isle. At that moment he squeezed both of my hands and I bawled.

One day {I keep getting my days confused} a Hospice nurse came by and gave him a bath that morning. He pitched two fits to take a shower that day. He told my sister and I that his mind was going because he kept getting confused. That broke our hearts.

I remember us sitting on the edge of the bed with him as he shouted he was angry and punching the bed with his fist. It’s so hard to see someone you love feel so helpless and miserable.

After that we went outside to sit on the front porch. While we were outside it dawned on me that he would be passing on the 13th. He had mostly been in his hospital bed {minus the fit he threw to shower}. He was too weak to walk around and move a lot. By that point we were praying for him to go because it was obvious that he was in agony.

When the Hospice nurse came on Friday I asked her how long she thought he had. She told us she thought it would be within 24 hours. I stayed by his side all day after that, talking to him and holding his hands. While my sister was the more emotional of the two of us, I had many moments where I broke down and leaned on her.

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Last time I saw my dad

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He was so thin and frail. The red coloring on his legs was from the foam under the sheets.

Late in the afternoon my sister knew I needed a break. She took Bentley outside for me while I used the bathroom and fixed a glass of sweet tea. As I walked by my dads bed to go outside I noticed he looked at me and followed me with his eyes. I said to myself, “Did he just follow me?” I thought that was odd because he had been asleep most of the day. I joined my sister on the swing. She asked me at one point, “Why is it so pretty out here and so ugly in there?”. Not even 5 minutes later my cousin motioned for us to come inside. He was gone.

One memory I’ll never forget was when we made everyone leave the house so we could have alone time with him after he passed. We held his hands and talked to him. All I wanted to do was lay my head on his shoulder. {Which was how I felt all week but he was so frail}. That week and day I replay in my head every day.

For him to have passed on Friday the 13th was typical of him – he loved messing with people and joking around.

My sister and I were not close with my dad. As I’ve said before we always wanted the doting father but because he didn’t have one growing up, {we assumed} he didn’t know how to be one to us.

In the week we were at his house, we spent a lot of time with him. We were able to have conversations that we had never had with him. I think we both realized a lot of things ourselves in that week.

We had several family, coworkers, and friends tell us that not a day went by that he didn’t talk about us, and how much he loved us. That blew our mind.

One day while we were walking in his yard we thought we would cut 3 flowers from his yard to cheer him up. Two of them started dying. The last one was still in one piece the day he passed. After he passed I noticed the bottom petal had fallen off. Very symbolic.

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This is the sun from the front of the house the day he passed.

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The sun was very bright and hot the day of his funeral.

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Sun setting the day of his funeral

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My Dad’s casket was very pretty. It was pecan wood and it had a little drawer for family to put notes or pictures. My sister and I both wrote him a note. His flowers were gorgeous. We had 5 roses cascading down the front to symbolize Nic, me, and her 3 daughters.

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While the funeral home did a great job of filling my dad out, he didn’t look like himself to me. He looked like some man I’d never met.

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On the day of his funeral we had two poems read and two songs played inbetween speakers.

My poem:

My Dad, My Angel

© Jamie Cirello
Your battle is now over, no more tears flowing down your cheek,
no more pain, no more suffering, now you are no longer weak.
I still do not understand why this had to happen to you,
but I am proud to say you are my dad.
Although you will not be here to walk me down the aisle,
when that day comes I know you will be by my side with a smile.
You were always there for me and never once made me cry,
until the day you closed your eyes and had to say goodbye.
Now you are my Angel, so spread your wings out wide,
please wrap them around me whenever you see me cry.
Our time together was memorable and God took you way too fast,
but the most precious thing to me was you being there for my first breath,
and me being there for your last.

Song: Carrie Underwood – See You Again

Nic’s poem:

I Love You Dad

© Diana Doyle
I love you Dad with all my heart
And hate that we should be apart
Our love is a bond that can’t be broken
You may be gone, but never forgotten

I remember the day you went away
The pain in my heart is every beat
But I know that eventually, one day
We will, once again meet

The loss is something I can’t describe
I’m really going to miss you
One day I’ll be back by your side
So I can hug and kiss you

There are no words to tell you,
Just what I’m feeling inside
The shock, the hurt, the anger
One day, will gradually subside

Things will never again be the same
And though I’m hurting quite bad
I will smile whenever I hear your name
And be so proud to remember my Dad

Sleep well darling Dad, forever in my heart and my thoughts.

Song: Steven Curtis Chapman – Remembering You

A few weeks later I returned to his house. I was driving in and out of heavy rain – the kind that you drive 30MPH in. Once I got out of it I noticed that the sky was SO blue. You can’t tell much from the picture but there was a light blue line behind all the blackness.

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A month later, the sunset from his yard.

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Family pic of us

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Pic from Christmas 2011

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Thank you to everyone who has sent my sister and I kind words and prayers. It has meant a lot!

Cancer: an update

I talked to my dad on the phone tonight, with my sister. He went for a chemo treatment 2 weeks ago and they did a blood count. It was too low for chemo. Today when he went back it was still too low which means radiation is not an option. Basically his immune system is too low to handle treatments. The cancer is small cell which spreads rapidly and it’s all over his spine. The doctor said there’s not really anything to be done..

Cancer

Those of you that followed my other blog {that I no longer use} know that my sister and I are not close with our dad. My parents separated when I was in second grade. My dad let his temper get out of control one night, and to make a long story short, his actions are what caused the divorce.

I will say that my dad is number 9 of 10 kids. His father died when he was little and from what I’ve been told, his mother would beat them. I do remember being scared of her when she came to visit. She was mean. I do think that how you are raised helps mold you into who you become as an adult. However, I think that based off your surroundings, you can decide if you like who you are or not. Hopefully that makes sense.

In August of 2011 my sister and I found out my dad had lung cancer. To be honest it wasn’t much of a surprise, he has smoked since he was at least 15. It was in his left lung. He went through radiation therapy and chemo treatments.

Around Christmas based off his behavior we thought he was dying. He asked us to spend the night with him, something that hadn’t been asked or discussed since we were very young. Not only was he weak, he was very frail. I’ve always heard that dogs can sense things like death, and my dog was attached to my dad. Very unusual for him because he has only been around my dad a handful of times and never showed interest towards him.

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After Christmas my sister and I mentally prepared ourselves {as much as we could} for his death. I talked to him about making a will and stressed the importance of it. I’m not sure of the timing, but after the new year we learned that he was in remission and doing well. We had built a small foundation with him and there were little glimpses of him being the father I always wanted.

My dad is horrible at communication. If you do not call him, he won’t call you. With that said, since he was never a doting father, we rarely talked. A good two months went by without talking to him. I partly avoided it, but I was also focused on a few other things.

On Father’s Day I called him to make sure he got our card. He told me that his lung cancer was back. It’s in the same lung, different spot. Again, not too surprising to me because he was smoking at Christmas.

He called me yesterday and told me more bad news. When he had cancer the first time he complained of his back hurting badly. We urged him to get it checked out on several occasions. When I talked to him yesterday he told me that he has spinal cancer. It’s on his spine and not spinal cord, otherwise he would be paralyzed. He also apparently has gallstones. The hits just keep coming.

He talked with me about going to church, my sister and I both finding a good man, work, etc. I hate that so many years have gone by and he’s never been a father until now. That’s probably stretching it, but he is trying.

I’m not really sure how I feel about all of it. It makes me sad, but a part of me …I’m not going to say that I don’t care, because I do… I’m not even sure how to word how I feel. It’s very difficult.

That’s all I know for now…