1 year

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About a month ago one of my friends I’d lost touch with contacted me. She’s one of those special people that you can spend 2 hours talking to and time seems to stand still. Abbi is one of the most incredible and uplifting people I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. She just has this gift with how she speaks to you. She and I talked a good bit when my dad was first diagnosed with cancer. When we talked one of the first nights a month ago, she told me that even though we’d lost touch she wanted me to know that she continued to pray for me.

I told her about the first dream I had about my dad, which was in his house a few days after he passed away. In my dream he pointed at me while he was smiling wide and said “We will dance.” Just having the dream itself meant so much to me. I thought that it was his special way of reaching out to me because as a child we watched Footloose and The Sound of Music a lot.  I remember seeing a picture of him when I was little of him dancing on top of a table. I get it from him, what can I say? I never really thought much else about it until I was telling Abbi about it. As we were talking about the last few moments with my dad, I mentioned to her that as I was holding his hand I told him all I’d ever wanted was for him to walk me down the aisle. Even though he couldn’t talk at that point, he squeezed my hand. At that moment I burst into tears. It meant so much to me that what I said to him meant something to him as well, and that he understood what I said. Less than 10 minutes later, he was gone.

Abbi told she was absolutely sure that my dream was him telling me that we would dance at my wedding. I think that hit me so hard I didn’t really know how to react until a day later when I cried because it meant so much and I was positive she was right.

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Isn’t it funny how things like that happen? That’s God doing his magic right there. There was such a feeling of peace that came over me after it finally hit me.

It’s hard to believe it’s been one year.

Dad I think about you every day. Most of the time I think about funny stories about you, or funny things you did, even things you would do and I would be so embarrassed about. I completely understand them now, because I am you almost to a T. (ha! T. His name begins with a T.) I am proud that I get 90% of my personality from you. Sometimes I long for the relationship we could have had, but I am happy that we were able to make up for lost time in 7 days. I love seeing you in my dreams, that will never get old. I had the fear of not remembering your laugh or your “hey” when you answered the phone. I hope those are things I never forget. I still hear your voice as clear as day when I think about you, and for that I am so grateful. I love you!

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