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That’s the perfect word to describe how I feel.


In mid October Ashley went on a ghost tour on a date. She text me telling me that she saw a ghost. She asked the tour guide to describe the man she saw, and the guide described his height and the way his hands looked. Ashley saw a man with a hat on and long white fingers that moved, so when the guide mentioned that, she got a little freaked out. She asked the guide to describe the man because she wanted confirmation that what she saw was the ghost of this man.  When she told me the guide was a medium I told her I would defriend her if she didn’t get that lady’s information.

We each spent 45 minutes with her last night. I plan on doing a post going over the things she covered while talking to me, but that will be for another day. She brought up things dealing with my past and my dad. Things that there is no way she had any idea of knowing. I’ve always been a little skeptic of psychics and anything of that nature, but as she was reading me and talking to spirits, I found myself almost in tears because of the things she was telling me.

Last night was like going through years of therapy. I can vouch for that because I went through years of therapy when I was little. I am still trying to process everything she told me and make sense of it all. I felt a multitude of emotions. Each time I think of one specific thing she mentioned, I feel like I could burst into tears. I felt like that drying my hair this morning as I was getting ready for work, and three times throughout the day.

I am glad that I was able to have this experience. I think it will really help me in dealing with my dad’s death. Dealing with someone’s death is never an easy thing, especially when the relationship wasn’t exactly… easy. That’s the only word that I can think of to describe our relationship, and that’s not the word I want to use.. I think that a lot of people can’t even begin to grasp that understanding until they lose someone they care about. Something that I feel like my bosses have a hard time understanding actually…

I will post an update in a few days. Ashley took notes for me so that I wouldn’t miss anything if I was in the moment with her, and I did the same for her. I’m just waiting for her to type them up for me so that I don’t miss anything.

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