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Crush

I have come to the realization that I have a big crush on someone fairly close to me. He reminds me a lot of my ex, but he is the older, more ideal man. Basically, he is what I hoped my ex would become, what I saw the potential for. One of my friends pointed it out recently. I thought, no way, no he doesn’t. She then described specific details, and yeah, he does.  She told me the reason I had a crush on this older man was because he is the older version that treats me how I deserve to be treated. BOOM. Yeah, and she’s probably right. Of course it helps that we have similar personalities and can joke around about anything.

The sad part is, I always find myself talking about my ex in situations. Like if I’m having a conversation with a friend about something funny, it will remind me of something he did, etc. It’s depressing, really. I guess it’s just hard to let go. I think the reason that it’s so hard for me is because I did see a lot of potential in him. He was scared to fully expose himself which I think was the reason we never worked out. People say it’s all about timing, and you know what? Those people annoy me.

Why is it that we remember the good in relationships and not the bad? Shouldn’t the bad remind us of why the relationship never worked out to begin with?

I came across this quote in a beauty blog (of all places!) It read…

“And for the first time the help I knew I needed was not help for my ability to cure him, it was help for my ability to help myself.
I finally hated the pain I was in more than I hated the idea of letting go of it.”

How very true. I think there comes a time in everyones lives when they reach a breaking point. Now to figure out what to do about this crush on the older guy with amazing blue eyes..

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